


Lost

by CaribMermaid



Series: Daredevil Alternate Universe [3]
Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blindness, Childhood Friends, Comfort/Angst, Daredevil AU, F/M, Family Loss, First Love, Karedevil AU, Karedevil Bingo, Loss, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Parent(s), Lost Love, Nightmares, Separation Anxiety, losing friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaribMermaid/pseuds/CaribMermaid
Summary: Summary: Karen’s family took Matt as a foster child when they were teenagers. As they grew older, so did their friendship and life’s complexities threatening to destroy their relationship.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Matt Murdock & Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Karen Page
Series: Daredevil Alternate Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767562
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7
Collections: Karedevil Bingo





	1. Feels Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the wonderful writers Meinhiding and steelorchids for being my beta readers for this fic. Thanks for all your help and support. Please check out their beautiful Karedevil stories here in AO3.  
> Also thanks to all of you who have been supporting me during this Karedevil Angfest phase.  
> Inspired by the song “Lost in You” by Three Days Grace.  
> Karedevil Bingo prompt: childhood friends

Karen will always remember the day when Matt arrived home. He was thin, had short hair brushed to the side and a cute face. But the things that got her attention the most were his dark red glasses and cane. She wasn’t familiar with visually impaired people, maybe she has seen one in her lifetime before him. Her parents mentioned it when they were planning on taking Matt as a foster child. Then, when they got the acceptance to be his foster parents, they even rearranged the furniture to make it easier for him to navigate around the house. They also bought a special computer, a Braille label maker and Braille books. 

Matt also remembers that day fondly. He was nervous to start a life in a family environment. After living in an orphanage for six years, he had lost his hope to be adopted or even fostered, but the Page family took on Matt to look after him. Paxton, the father, came to pick him up at the orphanage. As soon as they got close to their driveway, Matt could smell the scent of freshly baked buns, roasted ham and sweet apple pie. He could hear giggles and the sound of electronic music, probably from some video game. A mature female voice announced his arrival. When the front door opened he could feel the warmth of the house embracing his body.

“Karen, Kevin, come meet your new brother,” Paxton said excitedly. 

”This is our daughter Karen, she is thirteen years old.” 

“Hi, nice to meet you,” said Karen, with a high pitched voice and a racing heartbeat after running to meet him. 

“And this is our son Kevin, he is ten years old.” 

“Hi,” he said, and quickly got his attention back to the Game Boy in hand. 

“And you remember Penny, my wife.”

“Hello, Matt, and welcome to your new home. We’re very happy to finally have you here with us.” She gave him a hug and Matt felt even warmer. 

Penny must have noticed it because she helped him to take off his jacket and put it away after that. 

“Come,” Karen said, grabbing him by the hand, “I’m gonna show you the house.” 

“Hey sweetheart, remember to slow down,” said Penny. 

“Okay, mom. Sorry, Matt.” Karen moved his hand to her upper arm to guide him like she was taught. 

“It’s okay.” Matt smiled and they continued to walk slowly. 

“So, this is the living room, the sofa is on your right and there’s a chair to your left…” 

Karen continued to describe the living room, the dining room and the rest of the house. She made him feel warm and welcome; in fact, the entire family did. But there was something about Karen’s voice that made his anxiety melt away. 

“And this is your room, your bed is to your right and the dresser is to your left.”

Matt touched the bed, pressing the mattress and feeling the bedsheets, he smiled.

“Feels comfortable.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Penny called out. 

They all sat down to eat and started a conversation. Penny asked him questions about himself, about his interests and his favorite things. Then Paxton told Matt about Penny’s Place, the diner they owned in Hell’s Kitchen, and their daily routine.

* * *

Night came and they were all in bed, but Karen could hear whimpering and crying coming from Matt’s bedroom. She wanted to find out what was happening so she came into his room. The soft light of the moon came through his window and dimly illuminated the room. She got closer to his bed to get a better look at him, his eyes were closed and there was no sound except for his peaceful breathing. 

It must have been my imagination, she said to herself. 

Just when she was about to leave, it started again, soft painful moans coming from him. 

She wanted to comfort him, so she touched his hand and whispered, “Are you okay?”

He woke up startled. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry to wake you up, but I heard you crying, so I came here to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay, you should go back to your room.” 

He turned his back to her and covered his head with the sheet.

“I’m glad you’re okay. Good night.” 

She walked towards the doorway and then paused to take a last look at him before leaving. 

The bad dreams continued every night, and every night Karen would go to his room to wake him up, and every time he would tell her to go back to her room. But one night Karen stayed instead of going back to her bed.

“What are your nightmares about?” 

“I don’t have any nightmares.”

“Then why do you cry while you’re asleep?”

He stayed silent for a moment. “Please don’t tell anyone. I dream I have the devil in me.”

“Wow, that’s scary. But you are good, I’m sure you’ll be able to defeat it and I’m gonna help you.” 

Matt smiled. “Well, I’m not sleepy anymore.”

“Me neither,” Karen said.

They sat in bed and talked about the first thing that came to their minds. They talked and talked until they both felt sleepy and Karen returned to her bed. 

Their nightly conversations helped Matt with his nightmares and made them grow closer as friends.


	2. Growing Pains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter Matt arrived at the Page’s home to be part of their family as a foster child. Matt and Karen started a friendship after Karen helped him deal with his nightmares.

Time passed and Matt started to have fights at school. The fighting stopped for some time after Paxton and Penny talked with him, until one day, when one of the kids grabbed Karen’s butt and Matt could not control the rage anymore. He jumped on the kid and did not stop punching him. It took two of the strongest teachers to pull him away. 

Karen stood up for him at the principal’s office, saying that he was defending her, but he still got suspended for a week. Also, the principal told Matt that this was going to be his last chance, he was going to be expelled the next time.

Matt and Karen were sitting next to each other outside the principal’s office while waiting for their parents to come. 

“Your parent’s are going to kick me out,” Matt said while fidgeting with his cane. 

“Thanks for teaching that guy a lesson, but you have to stop fighting, you’re getting into too much trouble,” Karen said, touching his forearm. 

“I try not to fight, but I can hear them, making fun of people and saying things about you.”

“What were they saying?”

“They made a bet. Johnny told Randy that he didn’t have the balls to grab your butt.”

“But how can you hear them? I was with you and I didn’t hear it.”

“The thing is…” he sighed, “that the accident that blinded me enhanced my other senses, so I can hear better than anyone.”

“Wow, that’s awesome! So you are like a superhero.”

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Why not?”

“Promise me.”

“Okay, okay. I promise.”

“Shhh, your parents are here.”

“You mean our parents.”

Mr. and Mrs. Page came to pick them up but had a talk with the principal first. Matt and Karen waited outside her office. 

“Can you hear what they’re saying?” 

“Yes, but I don’t wanna listen, I prefer to hear your voice. It helps me calm down.”

She took his nervous hand away from the disheveled cane and squeezed it. 

“Everything's gonna be alright, you’ll see.” 

After they arrived home, Matt immediately went to his bedroom. Although he closed the door, he could hear his foster parents' discussion.

“I think we bit more than we could chew, he comes with too much baggage,” Matt heard Penelope say.

“Try to put yourself in his shoes, it shouldn't be easy growing up in Hell’s Kitchen and being blind and orphan on top of that. He is the son of a boxer, maybe he just needs to let go of some steam.” 

“What are you suggesting?”

“Maybe we can enroll him in a boxing class or martial arts class. I’ll ask around to see if we can find a teacher that specializes in kids like him.”

“Okay, I’ll see what I can find too.”

* * *

One of Paxton’s clients knew Stick, a blind martial arts teacher. Paxton explained Matt’s situation to Stick and he agreed to teach him exclusively. He quickly discovered Matt’s abilities and taught him how to use them. Matt would go to his class every day after school and then spend the rest of the evening studying.

Karen was sad that they didn’t spend much time together anymore but they started to pursue different interests. She was becoming a popular girl at school and was very busy with her basketball practices, while Matt was immersed in his studies and training. But one thing didn’t change, Karen would always come to his side to comfort him after every nightmare. Sometimes they would fall asleep talking about their day, about the past and about their plans for their future. 

“What would you like to be when you grow up?” Karen asked while looking at the ceiling. 

“My dad always wanted me to be a lawyer, he didn’t want me to be like him. I think being a lawyer would make him and your parents proud,” he replied while lying in bed beside Karen. “How ‘bout you?” 

“I want to be a journalist,” she responded with a smile. 

“That’s great, that way you can write about all the cases that I’ll win.” 

They both laughed. “Shh, we’ll wake up your parents.”

“You always make me laugh, no matter how shitty my day has been. I love that.” 

She looked at him and noticed his red tinted cheeks. 

“It’s because I like the sound of your laughter,” he replied back with a smile.

* * *

One night they fell asleep so deeply that they didn’t notice when Paxton opened the door to find them asleep in Matt’s bed. 

Matt felt Paxton's presence and shook Karen’s arm. “Hey, wake up.” 

“What are you doing here?” If Karen wasn’t awake she definitely was now.

Karen tried to say something but she stuttered.

Matt, realizing that this was not one of his dreams, replied: “We were talking and we fell asleep.”

“This better be the last time I find you in his bed, young lady. Now go to your room,” her father demanded. 

“Why are you so upset? He is my best friend. Why can’t I spend some time with him?

“You’re not children anymore, Karen. Go to your room and get ready for school. We’ll talk later. And the same goes to you.” 

Although Matt could not see him, he would have sworn that Pax was shooting daggers at him from his eyes.

Karen ran to her room crying. Paxton left Matt’s room, slamming the door behind him and Matt sat at the edge of his bed for a moment, constricting the bed-sheets within his hands. 

That afternoon, Matt and Karen came back from school, Penny called Karen and they went to her room to talk. Paxton and Matt did the same. 

Paxton sat on a chair and asked Matt to sit down too. They remained silent for a moment and Matt could sense that Paxton didn’t know how to start the conversation so he started. 

“I wanted to let you know that I respect you and your family. You opened your house to me and you didn't give up on me even when I was making your life difficult. I wouldn’t do anything to harm your family.” 

“I know that,” Paxton said, his voice sounding remorseful. 

“I’ve been accepted into Columbia so I’ve decided to move on campus. You won’t have to deal with me anymore.”

Paxton got up and sat beside Matt. He put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Matty, I’m very proud of you. I’m sorry that I got upset this morning. It’s just... my paternal instinct took over, maybe someday when you are a father you’ll understand.”

“I know.”

“I also wanted to let you know that we support you, we are your family and we’ll always be your family, no matter if you go live somewhere else. We’ll always be here for you. Just promise that you will stay in touch.” 

“I promise,” Matt said. 

Paxton hugged him and Matt didn’t reciprocate for a moment, but then, he hugged Paxton back. 

That night Matt woke up from a nightmare searching for Karen but for the first time, she was not there, then he remembered his conversation with Paxton and the reason why he locked his door.


	3. Growing Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter Matt got in trouble at school for his constant fighting, his situation got even worst after he defendEd Karen from sexual assault. Nonetheless, Matt and Karen’s friendship kept growing, that is, until their father found them asleep in Matt’s bed. This prompted Matt to take the hard decision to distance himself from Karen and the rest of the family.

Karen could hear Matt waking up from nightmares and she was dying to get up and comfort him like she always did, but she couldn’t and it was destroying her. She really missed her conversations with him. They spent less time together each day. She also started helping at the diner just to keep her mind occupied and not think about the whole situation. 

It was the day for Matt to move on campus and the whole Page family helped him. They met Foggy, Matt’s new roommate, and they instantly liked him, especially Karen. She and Matt were sad but Foggy made them forget their troubles. 

“Don’t forget to call,” Penny said after giving Matt a hug and a kiss, followed by a hug from Paxton and Kevin. Finally, Karen came to him. 

“Remember that I will always be there when you need me,” she said, while hugging him, pressing the tips of her fingers into his back, clinging to him. Matt’s face was hidden between her neck and shoulder, her long hair shielded him from their reality, and they escaped for a moment. A moment that was interrupted when Paxton cleared his throat.

“Well, we need to get going.” 

They separated and Karen took a last look at his face. She got the feeling that she was not going to see him again and there was nothing she could do about it. 

Karen spent the following nights sleeping in Matt’s bed, his lingering scent comforted her and she was hoping her mom wouldn’t wash the bedsheets so that she could still have a piece of him close to her.

* * *

As days, weeks and months passed Matt communicated with his family less and less and everytime they called, he was always busy with his clases. On the other hand, Foggy and Matt became inseparable. They became such good friends that Matt spent the holidays with Foggy’s family. Then after a year, Matt received a call from Kevin.

“Our mom passed away from cancer,” Kevin said in a breaking voice. 

Matt could feel his heart sinking and he took a deep breath but it didn’t help alleviate the pain. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Kevin, she was a great mom. How’s Karen?”

“She’s not doing well, I think she’s using drugs. Maybe you should talk to her, you know, since you lost your parents too and you used to be so close.”

Kevin gave Matt the address of the funeral which was going to be celebrated the next day.

* * *

It was a cold and cloudy day, the cemetery ground was covered with leaves painted in a palette of warm colors. Karen arrived at her mother’s funeral and found Kevin and Paxton already there, surrounded by some of their most loyal clients and friends. She looked for Matt but he was not there, she was hoping that he would show up at any moment. But she left disappointed after the funeral ended. 

“Did you tell Matt about mom?” Karen asked Kevin when they got home. 

“Yes, I thought he would come. I’m sure he has a valid explanation.”

“What could be more important than family? Not only did I lose my mother, I also lost my best friend,” she said, sobbing. 

Kevin hugged her. “I’m sure he’ll come back, just give him time.”


	4. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter Matt left the Page family to start a new life as a college student living in campus. Penny passed away and Karen is missing Matt more than ever. Kevin reached out to Matt to let him know about the family situation but Matt decided to not show up to Penny’s funeral, leaving Karen broken hearted because he is not there when she needed him the most.

More years passed and one day Matt decided to call Paxton.

“Hello, Paxton, this is Matt.”

“Matty! I can't believe it’s you, after all these years.”

“Yes, I wanted to let you know that I finished law school. My graduation’s tomorrow.”

“Oh, Matty, I’m very proud of you. I always knew you could do it.” 

“Thanks for believing in me. I’m sorry that I got so distant. I had my reasons.”

“Don’t worry kid, I understand.”

“I would like you to come to the ceremony.”

“Jeez, Matty, I don't think I’ll be able to, we have work at the diner. I’ll try to work something out but it’s difficult to change the schedule in such short notice. I’ll tell you what, I’ll talk to Karen. Tomorrow’s her day off, maybe she can go.”

Matt’s heart fluttered as he heard Karen’s name. 

“You are also welcome to come to the restaurant after the ceremony and celebrate with us.”

“That sounds good.”

“And Matty, your room’s still just the way you left it, our home is still your home.”

Matt wanted to say something but his throat was too tight, he took a deep breath and managed to say: “Thank you.”

* * *

It was the day of the ceremony and Matt and Foggy were getting ready.

“Hey Foggy. How do I look?”

“Hey bro, for the fifth time, you look good. In fact, too good. But I've never seen you so nervous. Is everything alright?

“Karen is probably coming to the ceremony.”

“Karen, your foster sister, the one that you had a crush on?”

Matt cringed for a moment, he never liked that word, not for her. Although he tried, he could not see her as his sister. 

“Yes, that Karen.”

“Hey man, forget about the troubles and tribulations of life for a moment. Today we celebrate our achievements, the beginning of our bright future, the start of Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at Law.”

Matt laughed. “Foggy, we haven’t even taken the bar test.”

“And we’re gonna crush it,” Foggy said, while making a fist with his hand and holding it in front of Matt. “You’ll see, we’re gonna be amazing, we’re gonna win lots of cases and we’re gonna be rich.”

Matt laughed. “Foggy, you know that I’m not in for the money.”

“I know, I’m gonna let you handle the justice part while I handle the money part.”

“We’ll talk about that later, right now we need to leave. The ceremony is about to start.”

* * *

Karen arrived at the graduation ceremony. It was held outside and the nice early summer weather was perfect for her. There was a cool breeze refreshing the sunny day. It felt so strange for her to be there, they hadn’t seen each other for so long. Would she recognize him after all these years? Would he recognize her? On the one hand, she was excited to see her friend’s dream come true and to be part of such a special day, but on the other hand, she still had resentment in her heart.

Trying to find Matt in the sea of light blue and black caps and gowns was impossible. She found an empty seat on the last row and sat. She waited until Matt was called and was able to snap a few pictures of him getting his diploma. A sense of pride filled her heart and she forgot about everything else for a moment. 

When the ceremony ended she walked towards him. His back looked much wider than she remembered. He was surrounded by other graduates congratulating each other. She also recognized Foggy by his side. Suddenly, he moved his head to the side and made that expression he always did when he was concentrating on something. She got paralyzed. He looked so handsome, more than she remembered, then he moved to face her and her heart skipped a beat. There was no going back, he knew she was there. 

He could probably sense her legs trembling, her pulse accelerating, her lungs running out of air and her eyes watering. 

Get it together, Karen, she said to herself and started to put a foot in front of the other with the eagerness of a person that didn’t want to reach her destiny. Nonetheless, she swallowed her feelings and her pride and held her head high.

* * *

Matt was receiving lots of praise from everyone. After all, it was a great feat to graduate Summa Cum Laude from law school and even more as a special needs student, but he was not interested in them, he wanted to find her. 

He recognized the rhythm of her heartbeat — it was not the one that lulled him to sleep after a nightmare, but the one she had when he fought for her, the one that she had that time he took his shirt off in front of her before getting into the pool, the one that woke feelings in him that he fought to suppress.

“Matt, Foggy,” Karen greeted them, her formal tone was a clear contrast to her racing heartbeat. 

Matt’s heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard her voice. Her bright citrusy scent illuminated his day and the warmth of her proximity made his hands sweaty. 

“Karen, what a nice surprise,” Matt replied, smiling. 

“Karen, it’s so great to see you again!” 

Foggy immediately gave Karen a hug, which she happily reciprocated. 

They talked for a while about Karen’s experiences investigating the masked vigilante of Hell’s Kitchen and their plans for Nelson and Murdock.

“I’m so happy for you guys. Congratulations. We are very proud of you, Matt. I’m sure mom would have been proud too.” 

Matt could taste the salt on Karen’s watering eyes. He could feel his heart ripping apart and involuntary lowered his head. How will he be able to ever be worthy of her forgiveness? Why did he reach back to them after all? Why now? What was he thinking? 

Then, after a moment that felt like an eternity, Foggy announced: “Well, I need to leave. My family is making gestures at me. Are you sure you don’t want to come celebrate with us?”

“Thanks, Foggy, but I already made plans to go to Penny’s Place,” Matt said, moving his head in Karen's direction as she nodded in agreement. 

“Well, have a good time. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Foggy patted Matt’s shoulder and waved goodbye to Karen. 

“I’m surprised that you are here.” Matt moved to face Karen. 

“Yeah, I didn't want to come but Dad and my therapist convinced me,” she replied, crossing her arms.

“I’m glad that you came. I’m so sorry about your mom.” 

“After all these years, you come up with that? Where were you when I needed you the most? You of all people should know how it felt.”

“That’s not fair,” he said, clenching his jaw. 

“How could you abandon me? You were everything to me.” 

“Do you remember Stick?”

“Your blind martial arts teacher?” she asked, puzzled. 

“Yes. He once told me not to get involved with you and your family, to cut ties. But I didn’t listen to him and my affection for you became stronger. I was falling in love with you—” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Karen interrupted. 

“Because I knew it was wrong, that’s why I never told you about my feelings. Then, after your father got mad at us, I decided that Stick was right and that I had to focus on my mission.”

“What mission?”

“At first, I thought I had to fulfill Stick’s mission, but later I realized that his mission didn't align with my own.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“Every time we went to church, I could hear the prayers of the people asking for mercy. At night, I could hear the cries for help. I wanted to do something, I needed to,” he paused, “so that’s why I became Daredevil.”

“You are the vigilante in the black mask?” Karen’s mouth almost hit the floor. 

“I wanted to help this city as a lawyer, but during our internship at Landman and Zack, I realized that some people are just too powerful, they are above the law and they need a lesson.”

Karen lowered her head and bit her lip, her crossed arms tightened. 

“I don’t kill, Karen, that’s where I draw the line, but I make sure that people get justice one way or the other.”

Matt got closer and touched Karen’s arm. Her body relaxed a little and her arms loosened. Then, he held Karen’s hands. 

“Although I am what I am, I have to confess I’m nothing without you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you most needed me. Tell me how to find my way back to you.”

“We can’t go back to the way things were before,” she said, looking away. 

“I know, but we can move forward,” he paused and lightly squeezed her hand, “together.” A small smile finally broke through his sad face. 

She looked back at him, a little uncertain at first, then she squeezed his hand back. 

“It wasn’t the right time for us, we were children after all, our parents would have never accepted our feelings. Even though it destroyed me, I understand why you took that decision, and I love you even more for that.” 

And without any warning they embraced and their eyes turned into waterfalls. They lost control of their bodies, they trembled and sobbed and laughed; every emotion came over them all at once. They needed this, they longed for it for so many years and there was nothing holding them back anymore. Soon a soft peck on the neck started a chain of kisses which, quickly but not rushed, made their way to her lips. They felt just as he imagined, tender, sweet and oh so satisfying.

They kissed until their heads felt light and they were finally able to let go of each other. A sense of peace surrounded them, a light breeze dried the remains of their tears. 

“You don't know how many times I’ve wanted to do this,” Matt said, smiling. 

She laughed. “Oh God, me too. Let’s go. We have a lot to catch up,” she said as she took his hand and guided him to her car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final note for those who like happy endings and want to make sure there is a happy ending:  
> Once they had admitted their feelings to each other, they confessed their love to her father. He told them that he suspected it, but he was glad that Matt respected their family and waited. He also gave them his blessing. There were no barriers this time.


End file.
